What Does God Have to Do With Sexuality or Gender?

I was sitting at dinner a few months ago discussing sex bloggers with my friends. One friend brought up Greta Christina, who ze described as a "gay atheist sex blogger." Another friend (a gay woman and LGBTQ rights activist) said, "She's cool, but a gay atheist isn't that surprising. What would be really unusual is a gay person of faith."

I know that bigoted, fundamentalist, religious extremists have terrorized the LGBTQ and feminist communities; I know that religion-based prejudice is a driving force of misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia in this country. But I'm frequently shocked by how eagerly some liberal bloggers and activists condemn all religion, let "religion" stand in for "religion as an excuse for bigotry," and assume that religion and acceptance are naturally at odds.

Sexual orientation is about who you're attracted to. Religious faith or the lack thereof is about your relationship with God, your understanding of the cosmos, and whether you feel an inkling of a force in the universe beyond the physical. Sexuality and gender are things you're born with; religion is something you are raised with, develop, discover, or choose. I'm sure that many gay and trans people and feminists leave organized religion because the religious institutions familiar to them alienate them. But that has everything to do with institutionalized bigotry and nothing to do with faith. It has nothing to do with God.

More importantly, gay, trans, and feminist people of faith do exist! In fact, a significant majority of gays and lesbians say faith is important to them. Since this information comes from a survey, that means that a significant majority of people who identified as gay or lesbian reported that faith is important to them. An additional 404 respondents declined to identify their sexual orientation. And we'll never know how many respondents are gay but closeted—or faithful but reluctant to admit their faith.

I think a lot of atheistic or religiously-disinclined activists assume that LGBTQ or feminist people of faith are kidding themselves. They believe the religious bigots who say the Bible condemns homosexuality. They think anyone who realizes ze's gay or trans, or who wants equality for women, would be a fool to be religious. But that's just not true. There is nothing about being gay or trans or a feminist that inherently rejects religion, or vice versa. Saying there is only adds fuel to fundamentalist bigots' fire.

Not only does pitting equal rights activism against religion give religious people license to be bigoted, but it's insulting to gays, trans people, and women who are religious. Saying someone shouldn't be religious because of zir gender or sexual orientation is a prejudiced thing to do! Saying it's rare for gays, trans people, or women to be religious could be a neutral statement, if it were a statement of fact. But that's not a fact. Assuming it is denies the existence of a huge number of people. This only contributes to the isolation and marginalization of religious gays, trans people, and feminists. Claiming that they don't exist sends the message that they shouldn't exist. (See the irony?)

Many religious people have rejected LGBTQ rights and feminism on religious grounds, but it's time for us to stop putting up with that. There is no excuse for prejudice or oppression—not even religion; not even activism. Feminists, LGBTQ people, and allies should stop promoting the idea that religion opposes equality. Religious women, LGBTQ people, and allies should make themselves seen and heard as examples of religious acceptance and freedom. Bloggers and activists who don't categorically hate religion should be clear and vocal about their acceptance. As long as we keep imagining religion as an enemy of equality, religious bigotry will thrive. We need to fight bigotry and oppression regardless of religion.

Related: I highly recommend For the Bible Tells Me So, a documentary film that explores "how insightful people of faith handle the realization of having a gay child." It's watchable and heartening.